You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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