It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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