my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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