just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
