its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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