no you cant smoke seaweed
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
