i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
