these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
