whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just had sex on a roof
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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