i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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