i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
