i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
