I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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