why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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