? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
