the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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