Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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