First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
