Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
