i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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