ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
