3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
