I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
