I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
