Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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