you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
