She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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