Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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