Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
