remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
