Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
