It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
