Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
