Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
