It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
A+ Viking dick
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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