So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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