have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
YAS. BRING CRAB.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
