Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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