That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
