hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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