And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
