I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
