U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
