It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
