do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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