Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
