You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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