That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We're too hungover to prance.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
