He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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