She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
