im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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